Posts Tagged ‘random thoughts

03
Aug
15

I got in trouble with my wife last night…

I was lathering up in the shower after a hard, sweaty day of working outside when I spotted this odd little bar of soap stashed away in the corner behind my wife’s loofa.   At the time I didn’t realize it was some special kind of rejuvenating soap that she’d just purchased off of QVC to moisturize her face.

I thought it was the designated butt bar…

Boy was she mad!

What can I say? J/W

Advertisements
05
May
15

And now for something completely different…

In 1698 a British scholar came face-to-face with the unknown one foggy night while walking the dissolute cobble stone streets after hoisting one too many at the local pub. A malevolent fog bank already had him on edge when a sudden ‘POP’ to his rear spun him around ready to defend his honor. With fists raised, he found himself alone. The only proof that remained was the sudden awareness that the air lingering around him had become most foul.

This British scholar was Sir Charles Phart.

Keep your nose upwind.   J/W

25
Apr
15

Yahoo News… Proof that everybody poops.

This morning, Yahoo news sported an article discussing the possible causes for the recent explosion in seismic activity around Oklahoma.

From the article “The seismicity rate in Oklahoma is about 600 times greater than it was before 2008, around the time dewatering started in the state. Just last year, 585 magnitude 3+ earthquakes hit Oklahoma — compared with 109 in 2013.”

Unless I’ve forgotten something about math, I believe they meant to say either: ‘6 times greater’ or ‘600 percent greater’. 600 times greater would have meant they had around 65,000 magnitude 3+ earthquakes last year. Yikes!

That’s further proof that no one is perfect. Not only did the writer miss the mistake, but so did the editor.

Live free and enjoy life! J/W

21
Dec
12

The Mayan Calendar…

Wow!    Will it’s the 21st.    I guess I can un-pucker my butt and climb out of my hole.   J/W

15
Apr
12

Help me to understand…please!

Okay now I consider myself a fairly intelligent guy – so why am I having so much trouble understanding simple economics.    What am I talking about?    Well let me explain… and be patient with me as I’m typing this after a few too many glasses of wine.    My wife and I watch several shows like ‘House Hunters International’ where some well-off foreigner is looking to buy some hobble in a  second or third world country.    What makes me scratch my head and ponder the question that leads to this post is – why on earth, could a run down, no internal plumbing, barely standing, shack, in some small underprivileged village cost upwards of $200K.     I mean this same place, mind you I’m not talking about ocean front property, would cost between 20 and 60K here in the United States.   How can it demand so much money in any country that isn’t defined as the most prosperous, well-to-do and economically well-off place to live in the world?   Is it that the locals are taking advantage of dim-witted foreigners who define any place without running water as exotic?   Have we lost our marbles?    Or have I?    Please tell me what in the “h” “e” double hocky sticks is going on?    Looking for answers among the mist of ill-conceived ideas…  J/W

14
Oct
11

What’s with that…

Why is it that everytime I come to “lane ending – merge” sign on the road, everybody pulls into the lane that’s ending?

 

15
Jun
08

I’m dead dog tired and drag’ in like there’s no tomorrow….

Been two weeks since my last post. Wish I could say that I’ve been busy writing the next great novel – but that’d just be wishing. Its summer and that means one thing around my house – projects, projects and more projects. I know some people can’t wait for the weekend to get here. They envision a restful time of relaxation, two glorious days taken at a pace a good step or two slower than what they are forced to endure during the week. Unfortunately I’ve never been one to sit down and relax. It’s just not in my nature. So what have I been up to?

I took down a brick column in the front that supports the roof over my porch. It was a big massive thing that just didn’t look welcoming. In its place I put up a traditional Craftsman column (trapezoid – wider at the bottom and narrower at the top) set on top of a salvaged limestone slab – which I mounted to partial brick column. The brick comes up about 30 inches, then the limestone (2.5 inches thick) and then the wood post.

Then I decided that I wanted more light in our kitchen. We have a banquette area just off the kitchen that had two casement style windows. I took those out, took out about 50 bricks on the outside wall, put in a new wider header and framed up the wall for 3 double hung side-by-side windows. Since I already had most of the wall open, I went ahead and took off all the old plaster and lathe, insulated everything and then hung new drywall.

Of course all this has been taking place while my wife and I are trying to get our house painted. The rush is on because we’ve got roofers coming out in mid-July to put a new copper roof over our sunroom, bay window and on the flat portion of the very top of our roof (kind of like a widow’s walk but without the fanfare). So Saturday we went at it from 9:00 to 6:00. Today we got going about the same time and finished up about 5:00. By the time we get cleaned up and make dinner – it seems like it’s about time to go to bed.

Anyway… sorry I missed a post. I’ll be back it daily once all the projects get done around the house. Until next time, do as I say and not as I do – take a moment to smell the roses before they’re all gone. J/W




jonathonwise.jpg

Categories

November 2017
M T W T F S S
« Oct    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
Click on the Titles below to order my books from Amazon.com


Click on the Titles below to order my books from Amazon.com


Click on the Titles below to order my books from Amazon.com