Posts Tagged ‘funny

03
Aug
15

I got in trouble with my wife last night…

I was lathering up in the shower after a hard, sweaty day of working outside when I spotted this odd little bar of soap stashed away in the corner behind my wife’s loofa.   At the time I didn’t realize it was some special kind of rejuvenating soap that she’d just purchased off of QVC to moisturize her face.

I thought it was the designated butt bar…

Boy was she mad!

What can I say? J/W

02
Nov
13

Holloween in Hard Times…

You know times are tough when this happens:

On the good side of the tracks…

The first house I went to gave me a stick.   I peered at the old-fart through the eye holes of my Chucky mask.   His response, “Now move along.”

The second, third and forth house on the street had the drapes drawn, lights out and a sign posted at the foot of their sidewalk.  ‘Move along’.

At the fifth house, a scantily-clad young lady answered the door.   I’m only eleven so I’m too young to know what she was supposed to be – but she reminded me of the models I see in my dad’s magazine.   She gave me a big, long hug and then dropped a single wrapped caramel in my bag.   I think she said, “Now move along.”  I’m not real sure because I think I was staring at her boobies, when she pushed me aside for this older kid.

At the sixth house a wrinkling old woman gave me a green apple.   “Now it looks like you have some work to do.”

I heard it was even worse on the “other” side of the tracks.

Instead of giving out apples – they just handed out razor blades.

 

The city came by this morning and asked if they wanted me to sweep up all the discarded candy.    I told them that my dog has already volunteered.

Have a spooky-good time.  J/W

 

 




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