No, I’m not referencing anything sexual or talking about my beloved Skyline chili. I’m referring to that fascinating little social gathering place we all visit sometime during our daily drive – the four-way intersection. So many different behaviors surface at these asphalt crossroads that I thought the subject deserved its own post. Now of course you have “normal” folks. This group includes those who stop and wait their turn; those who commit the routine rolling stop; and those who just blatantly don’t give a damn and drive right through. But nothing really stands out about this group so I’m not going to talk about them. Not when there are so many other “good” characters to talk about it. Here’s a few that I really “enjoy” meeting up with.
1. ‘The Self-fulfilling Prophecy Guy’ This is the driver who’s so afraid that the car coming up on the intersection won’t stop, that he continues to sit there at the stop sign even after the oncoming car has stopped. And he sits…. Whose patience doesn’t this try? The more he does this the more he’s apt to find the fellow who after stopping and seeing no action from him, proceeds through the intersection – only to hit our man and fulfill his prophecy about getting into an accident.
2. ‘The Junk Car Guy’ This is the driver behind the wheel of any car that looks like its been pieced together with parts from other cars. Watch out for him. He has nothing to lose – if he can’t afford a car that he doesn’t have to put together, you know he’s not the sort of chap that can afford insurance either.
3. ‘The I Have The Biggest Truck Guy’ Don’t let the name fool you. It can be a 4x4 truck, an SUV, a full size van or even just a big boat of a car. What’s important here are that the laws of nature state that a thing that can squish another thing has the right of way – always!
4. ‘The Wave-on Guy’ I hate him the most. He tries to act like he’s doing you a favor, but we know better. He’s so smug in his use of power. How dare he wave me on through – as if he has control of my life. Maybe I don’t want to go first. Next time I come up on the ‘Wave-on Guy’ I’m going to beat him to the punch. I’m going to hold up my hand for him to stay put – and that I, yes I, am going to go through this intersection first, because after all, I am the most important person in the universe.
5. ‘The No-time Guy’ This category covers all the people who evidently didn’t have time to finish their breakfast/lunch/dinner before they got behind the wheel – as well as those who didn’t have time to put on their make-up/shave/comb their hair before they left the bathroom. Might as well throw in folks with cell phones – they apparently didn’t have time to chitchat before they got behind the wheel of a two-ton killing machine.
Which group do I fall in to? One, two, all…none. Wouldn’t you hate to have to find out some foggy morning?
Until next time, keep it between the lines. J/W
